It is not easy being a girl; bullying brothers, possessive parents, competitive world, race to look more presentable, painful days, deadlines at night and what not! More so if you’re an Indian girl!
You’re then prone to all the vulnerabilities in the world if you talk or mingle with strangers! You’re required to walk and talk in a certain way. It is always advisable to land up in a government job. It is a mandate to get married as soon as you hit some twenty years of your sustenance. Getting home late at night will tag you as a whore. Wearing skimpy clothes will invite unwanted men. You should always be soft spoken no matter how cruel the other person is. And most nonsensical tact is to be a good cook! All such ‘lessons’ have been tried to be imparted to every second Indian girl.
We are surrounded by pretty open minded family members. But when it comes to their daughters, their old-school preaching comes back into existence trying to screw our lives a little more! Not all girls get the opportunity to attend schools and complete their studies. Even if they do, they’re then compelled to settle down (followed by giving births) to gain that acceptance from the society. A hotshot study/job opportunity for a male is always a celebratory affair but a woman has to weigh her age, her families, the society, the male egos, her priorities and ultimately she is forced to kneel down and wait for the ‘next best’ opportunity, which is again hit by the same constraints. The naive girl is always indoctrinated to act strong yet not interact with men, to cover her body parts yet not raise voice if someone tries to touch her, to study wholeheartedly yet be on her toes when it comes to household chores, to make friends yet not fall in love, to enjoy life yet not party at night. She tries to live a life amidst the shallowness.
Every parent also has a dream to see his child serving the government, not just for the great money but also the handsome perks and job security that it offers. But they also fail to understand that not every kid is inclined towards it. Sometimes, they may want to start their own venture or serve an MNC they’ve always dreamt of or simply because the government doesn’t provide much growth prospects for a particular profession. But it is always a pain to make parents understand our point of view and after a few rounds of arguments and emotional turfs, you find yourself heartlessly filling up the same dreadful application form!
All hell breaks loose when you’re a twenty-something girl! You’re given deadlines to look for a ‘suitable’ guy who would anyway be rejected by any (or all) of your family members and then the real trauma begins when you are showcased in front of random families and your USPs become the deal makers or breakers!
We are also instructed to smile and not laugh, to maintain a distance from men, to not consume alcohol or cigarettes, to not befriend random guys and to not stay out late. It is completely okay to be laid down by a stranger after vowing rather than doing so before, with consent!
Now that you’re married, you should support your new family through thick and thin. Take their shouts, abuses positively. Act more responsibly. Adjust quickly. Leave the job that makes you work for long hours because your in-laws wouldn’t appreciate you coming back late at night after a tiring day! Or simpler, leave the profession altogether to invest your time in building up your family. Rest of the life, you’d find yourself moulding as per others’ requirements.
But the time has evolved, not every girl is suffering, some are leading a rather queen sized life, but I’m sure at one point or another, she would have felt helpless too. Lucky are the girls who have supportive parents, who understand their needs and the urge to realize the dreams that have been knit in the eyes since they were born. Kudos to such parents!