There was a point in my life when I was overflowing with friends; I thought this was it. I didn’t need anyone else. A huge social circle, a new reason to celebrate everyday, I was learning new lingos, new cultures, new emotions, new flavors! I was so full of life. But…
But this wasn’t the life I’d been wanting to live.
Gradually, the people started to vanish into thin air. Someone moved to a different city to study or work, someone stayed in the same town yet withdrew, someone who stayed miles apart grew closer and someone just went away! The bonds were as alive as being dead.
It hit me late but thankfully it did! I didn’t require everybody to stay in my life. Maybe, their part was over. Maybe, it couldn’t work any longer. Maybe, the compassion died. Maybe, time and space were constraints. Maybe, we were too close. Maybe, we were too far. Maybe, I didn’t want them. Maybe, they didn’t want me. And in between all this, we grew older, more mature and less cranky. I’ve lost people, whom I thought were my lifelines. Initially it felt like I’ve lost my world but then I resumed with my life and you know what, I came out stronger and less prone to shit.
After my schooling, I got admission in an engineering college and made very good friends with three more girls, one of them touted as my twin (because of our same insanity levels). We had the time of our lives during those four years. But as soon as my engineering ended, our worries started to bud. I got admitted to a management course whereas she was still struggling to find a job. She then took a training program to get into a good technical college for her post graduation. During those two years, we couldn’t get time to meet very often, we made a new set of friends and we met occasionally. Perhaps, she expected a little more from me. She blamed me on all welcomed and non welcomed instances on how I ruined everything. I tried to pacify things but it didn’t work out. I lost it too. Since then, we’ve not talked to each other, let alone meeting! But I’m glad she’s doing very well at a reputed telecom company now.
At every moving phase of life, I was being gifted frequent bunch of aides. Some are still a part, some are not. Someone I’d always respected is upset for a petty reason. Someone is time-bound because of a relationship. Someone is busy with a new job or a new city. Someone is just faking reasons and finding you faulty. Many people, multiple reasons!
Our existence is very bizarre. You eat, sleep-talk, dream, love, travel with someone. And suddenly, the bond dissipates. The more you try to repair, the more broken it becomes. Because, the phase is over?!
But the thing is to accept these goodbyes to make way for new hellos. Someone who doesn’t call you back after seeing your missed calls doesn’t deserve your attention, until and unless they’re busy making policies with the Prime Minister! A person who is habitual of breaking promises, needs to be shown the exit. Someone who is busy, should remain busy.
Moments before writing this blog, I was listening to Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez singing “We Don’t Talk Anymore“. They have very briefly showed how modern relationships work, be it friends, family, colleagues or lovers. Sadly, we don’t take a moment to find a replacement, because we are all so impatient with our equally gloomy lives trying to find a reason to live a little more!
A hope to mend the broken relationships might also take a toll on your esteem because you don’t wish to initiate every time. But, take cues, differentiate between your ego and esteem (because there’s a thin line to be crossed) and move smartly.
Till then, take care of people who matter.