“Artificial” /ɑːtɪˈfɪʃ(ə)l/ – made or produced by human beings rather than occurring naturally, especially as a copy of something natural.
There is no dearth of humans trying to be humane.
Be it the neighborhood aunty who pretends to not overlook that ‘short’ skirt you wore to work or a vendor who promises you quality for a poor product or an acquaintance giving you a shoulder to cry on, only to laugh at you later or even someone who tries to ignore you with all the attention. Life is full of such examples where what seems on the outside isn’t what it is on the inside.
For some years, I have been dealing with a lot of new souls. Some are kind, some blunt, some cute, some ambitious, some relaxed and some need a punch on their face. One wouldn’t mind if a mellow heart turns weird at times or a driven person slows down for some time. But how does one react when a negative psyche suddenly showers rose petals on you? Bizarre, isn’t it?
Since birth, we’ve been indoctrinated with the concept of self love. How one should accept one’s flaws and keep their heads high flaunting them like assets. But the teachers themselves fail to understand the hidden meaning to this very concept and start pinpointing the foibles to the entire world.
If I don’t have any interest in mathematics or numbers, I’d be tagged as a dumb girl. If I’m too good with the scientific concepts, I’d be called as a rote learner. If I’m being friendly with the guys, I might be a whore to you. If I don’t speak much, I become exclusive. If I talk too much, I’m being available. If I don’t like you, I’m being a bitch. If I’ve pimples, I’m an ugly duckling. If I weigh a little more than you, I’m a fat ass.
The fact is that you are none of others’ business. It is YOUR attitude, YOUR skills, YOUR body, YOUR interests and YOU are the sole proprietor of everything that comprises you. At times, you do get bogged down by the wickedness thrown your way. The clan tries to decelerate you, sink your confidence way below the ground level. The irony is that they find pleasure in seeing you in pain. The sadder part is that no one would be interested to peep through your soul to get to know you better. Your appearance becomes the eligibility criteria for your reception.
It isn’t easy to thrust upwards. It definitely isn’t. Acceptance is the key to survival in today’s era. You need to trust that one person to scrutinize the matter; to look for a way out. There are cases when one requires frequent visits to a psychiatrist to help gain that conviction in oneself. The phase brings with it a lot of question marks; about your worth, your purpose, your value, your existence…
It requires recurrent reminders to self that you’re becoming better than what you were yesterday, that you’re no less than what you aspire to become, that the people out there will always criticize you, that you can’t keep everyone happy, that such is life and you need to take taunts with a pinch of salt.
My life hasn’t been a smooth ride either. I’ve had my own shares of downfalls, when I wanted to end everything and run away from the unpleasant reality. But instead of escaping, I decided to face the harshness with a softer perspective. I took haven under the guidance of a person who gave me the much needed strength. I can never thank her enough to help me stand up again after I had fallen terribly and she helped me see the colors when black overpowered every other color. So thanks a lot Pou for everything! I’m glad to be a part of your life…