poetry · Uncategorized

Radiate A Smile :)

Smile-Meme-3

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But isn’t lemonade too mainstream? Why not have tequila shots and make life tipsier?

Most of our lives are about the fixed sequences, failed attempts at challenging monotony, trials at making a not so grumpy face at odd situations, finding our inner selfless selves, finding a reason to be happy when there is literally none, submitting yourself to the needs of others, and and and…

You expect x. You get Y. You complain to z who manipulates your expectations to w. W would repeat it with a and b. Gradually, the entire alphabetical string would know what made you complain and boom! YOU just paved way for the universe to get public access to your weaknesses!

Well if you wish to offer a radiant smile to the world, start with yourself. The mirror is your best admirer and critic. There’s no one who understands, respects or loves you more than your own self. Seek haven in your soul. Find the un-found rest in your emotions.

Fall in love with your creamy skin, fruity smell of your freshly washed hair, textures of your dwindling feelings, cracks of your lips, scars over your body, lessons from failures, laughs from the stupidest of jokes, blood flowing through your body, receiving those awaited messages, pain weakening your will, smiles making your days, heartbreaks eating you up. Fall in love with the mess you are.

Life is too short to exhaust it by complaining every day. It can be dealt with a bit of wit and wisdom.

  1. Seeking someone’s approval: You don’t need to acquire someone’s stamp on your heart so you may be functioned to feel a certain way. Take the direction that you find right, walk away from people whose lives you don’t wish to be a part of, ignore talks if they don’t make sense to you, walk in even if the room is full of strangers, speak if you want to spill your heart out, eat if that dessert looks like a dream, shop if that dress makes your kid happy.
  2. Answering every query: You will have many people questioning the choice of your clothes, color, food, places, language, partners and even your existence. You’re not accountable to the regular itches they get looking at you. Turn around and get going away. It’s as easy. They will eventually stop poking in.
  3. Cherish the alone time: Not many understand the concept of their own company. They misunderstand it to be lonely. The time you spend with yourself maketh you a better you. You become wiser, your best critic, better decision maker, embrace your flaws and make peace with what you’re with a never ending determination to become stronger.
  4. Waiting for all the wrong things: We’re all victims of having been or still being a part of the wrong queue. Be it a wrong person, a wrong habit, a wrong number, a wrong job or a wrong doing; a wrong has always seemed right to us. It is after a terrible jerk that we realize that we’re on the wrong road.
  5. Saying No: I have been repeating this point from over the last few posts because it isn’t easy to master saying a no. It requires sugarcoating, highlighting your point like a suede lawyer and saying a diplomatic sentence that rounds off to a no. How I wish to be a pro at this!

Not every phase of life will be as sweet or as salty as you like it to be. Some days will start like with a perfectly sunny omelette followed by a perfectly blended pasta and ending with a red velvet cake. Or some days will be like an overcooked salami, honey bombed chocolate shake followed by dreadful medicines.

What’s your taste like?

n.k.

via Daily Prompt: Radiate

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“Where’s Harmony?”

how-to-maintain-a-balanced-and-harmonious-lifestyle

“What does it take to lead a harmonious life?”, I hesitatingly ask Google.

It shows me ‘about’ 81,10,000 results. None of them relevant.

I then ask Quora because there’s never an unanswered question here. Less answers and more confusion here.

I still am at crossroads. Where’s harmony in my life?

I have doubts, insecurities, voids, doldrums, mismatched thoughts, untreated temper issues, sudden cravings for desserts, mad mood swings, zero tolerance for soaring temperatures in the city and what not in my life! Adding frizzy hair and pimpled skin to the list.

I end up scrutinizing my day to day activities to chalk out the rationale behind my despondence. It doesn’t take me too long to find out whom to blame. It wasn’t too difficult. Blame game is like a favorite sport, after all!

Well, the person writing this blog post is to be held responsible for most of the problems in her life. I will tell you why in some time.

Because right now, my thoughts are floundering around the Toni Collette and Drew Barrymore movie I watched this noon, ‘Miss You Already’ which was fairly rated on IMDb but did manage to signify the importance of friends, relationships, your body and ethics. We’re in a continuous pursuit to find contentment in life. Sometimes it lies within ourselves and surroundings but the failure to identify it makes us feel more miserable.

Let’s come back to why I am accountable for my life not being harmonious. Here are a couple of reasons:

  1. Over-thinking: Being a self confessed over thinker, I tend to pay emphasis on the minutest of things that would have minimal or no impact on my life. Yet, I spend a significant  amount of time procrastinating situations beyond control.
  2. Breathe and not live: That’s a common mistake that most of us are guilty for. We’re so caught in the web of habits, it becomes arduous to sneak out of it even for our own betterment.
  3. Realizing self worth: There are times when I need to be told of what I deserve. Not that I do not know it, but there are pangs of inferiority that sow the seeds of doubts on my worth.
  4. Control on emotions: I do not understand if it has to do with my gender or sun sign, but it doesn’t take more than a fraction of seconds for me to get swayed to a cloudy dream, only to be woken to a rather jarring realism.
  5. Express more: It’s easier to make mental notes of my anticipations but when it comes to speaking up, I end up condensing them into a lump of outlines.
  6. Expect less: Barry Schwartz said, “the secret of happiness is low expectations” for all the right reasons. Start finding delight in life not depending on what you give or get in return.

It is necessary to create a balance between your soul, body and surroundings to build yourself up to kiss the skies. It’s also important to realize that you drive your emotions in the path you wish to entail. If we were all sane enough to take correct decisions, there’d be no spice in life. You would have no stupid or inspiring stories to narrate to your friends or kids. You’d have no memories to laugh at your stupidity till your cheeks or stomach would ache. If we were so perfect at our thought process, we wouldn’t be humans in the first place. Even if we were, I don’t wish to be or stay perfect. For I find a strange charm towards imperfection.

n.k.

via Daily Prompt: Harmony

poetry · Uncategorized

The Door

locked door

It’s been two years that I closed that door,

Nights passed as my sight bore the floor.

I turn around to face the mirror,

Fresh scars with blood smeared.

 

The heart skips to see the tenacious reds,

For many years, the soul has bled.

My fingers tremble while I splash,

The water hurts a crisp thrash.

 

I throw the keys in the sea of hate,

The clock says it’s half past eight.

I walk away from the hollow castle,

Propelling open the three soft tassels.

 

I walk till the rain wets my bones,

Seeking help till I enjoy my groans.

Wandering, I enter the woodland,

Falling asleep amidst the sand.

 

I eat the grass, I drink the dew,

Sky becomes my favorite view.

An oak becomes a beloved haven,

The forest and inhabitants an entire nation.

 

I gaze at the stars and recollect the erst,

The bitterness that got me immersed.

Asters begin smelling fruity,

The wildness captures entire beauty.

 

One fine night, while consuming the moonlight,

My left calf swells of a bug’s bite.

Whilst looking for aid, my eyes squeeze,

At the lighthouse which offers a breeze.

 

Following the glow, I tiptoed to a place,

Which looked familiar yet not the same.

The similitude that gave me jitters,

A fading memory which didn’t cease to glitter.

 

My inner self warned, but I moved on,

To the thorny path that got me corns,

The pain was alike, the emotions still ripe,

I entered the same locked door again… but with no gripes!

n.k.

via Daily Prompt: Tenacious

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An Open Letter To Arid Hopes!

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Open Letter

noun

“A letter addressed to a particular person or group of people but intended for publication in a newspaper or journal.”

The very concept of an open letter has become overrated lately with multitudes of people writing letters to politicians, movie stars or just any authority! The content could be about a bad service or how the expectations didn’t match up to their actions. I also read somewhere, how a viewer wrote an email to one of the television channels, requesting them to change his favorite show’s timings because it clashed with his wife’s show. It, indeed, is a tough life!

There are however lesser letters addressed to self. To those arid hopes. To those closing eyes. To those mute lips. To that charred soul.

No one knows me better than I. You might think you can decode my silence but darling, you aren’t right. I have the sole right to judge myself and my choices because I can do that better than anyone else.

In the last twenty five odd years of existence, I’ve learnt a million things. Some of them helped me carve, some I still detest, some mistakes I keep repeating, some flaws made me prouder.

A few things I thought would help me become successful and happy have become non-existent in my life now. It’s time I pay condolences to them to pave way for some fragrance (by the same flowers).

  1. Good Marks: We were always conditioned to study more, some more and a little more. Our marks were never enough to satiate the desires of our parents, teachers or relatives. There was always one cousin or neighbor who scored more than us.
  2. Geeky Subjects: “What do you want to become? Doctor, Engineer, Lawyer or a Pilot?” No more options! Our world revolved around these four professions only. No parents, back then, understood photography or traveling or dancing more than just a hobby.
  3. Mastery at Cooking: “Go help mommy in the kitchen.” How many times have you heard a father ordering his son to enter the kitchen? How many times does your father cook for the entire family? Even if the male counterparts enjoy cooking, they wouldn’t enjoy taking up the entire kitchen responsibility. But the ‘weaker’ section is destined to!
  4. Study now, play later: Score good marks in board exams, life is merrier then. Grab a seat in a good college, life is merrier then. Get through a good management course, life is merrier then. Earn a job with a handsome salary, life is merrier then. Many of us are still waiting for the merrier phase.
  5. Stay Mum: “Don’t talk back!” Why are we instructed to hold back feelings? Why can’t I correct someone if the facts (s)he presents aren’t correct? Why are we supposed to be soft spoken when deep inside there’s lava flowing from the volcano?

It’s time I embrace life’s simplicity and make the hopes alive.

Dear Dreams,

You’ve been an integral part of me even before I knew what ‘dreams’ meant. Given the sun sign I was born with, I keep thinking about you in broad daylight too. Most of my lectures have been spent imagining scenarios and creating some solid conversations with people who matter.I don’t take a moment to enter a reverie of fantasies. Amidst these musings, I realized life isn’t a cakewalk. I had my own share of hiccups, heartbreaks and failures. Each one had a lesson with it.

The soul shatters for a while, but it becomes necessary to look up and re-adjust your esteem.

There are ten things (in a random order), I wish to keep doing everyday so that my day starts and ends with a smile.

  1. To love myself: We’re all flawed. Not everyone is blessed with a pretty face or a clean heart or the perfect persona. It is perfectly okay to be imperfect. But keep working on building a better version of yourself.
  2. To make mistakes: It’s good to choose a strategy and play safe. But, mistakes help you find a path you didn’t even know existed. There’s a new layer of self confidence formed after you learn from every mistake. But repeating the same mistake is being plain foolish.
  3. To stop over-analyzing: I love thinking. I am capable of peeling multiple coatings of a simple conversation. “Did I say the right thing?”, “No, I should’ve said this”, “O Lord! He must think I’m a fool.” and so on… The conclusion? Restlessness.
  4. To control emotions: With a string of never-ending thoughts comes a vicious circle of emotions. A bizarre concoction of thoughts is no less than a poisonous drink. Sometimes, it becomes necessary to keep the emotions at bay and bring your brain to the front seat.
  5. To crave for success: Keep climbing the stairs towards your happiness. Be it a position or a degree or a passion or a product, do what makes you successful. It is also important to be ethically successful.
  6. To devote to my parents: It’s a thought that stuck me late. I realized it late that they only demand our affection. They live to see us smile. Do your bit to keep their smile intact.
  7. To stay positive: A tricky but a major one! Try to find humor around. There’s so much to see and learn, use this opportunity before you stagnate yourself to cynicism.
  8. To never visit the past: It is okay to remember the lessons taught by your past but it is not okay to re-visit and fall prey to the pangs again. Let bygones be bygones and move on!
  9. To fall in love: It’s a beautiful feeling to find pleasure in everything. Take a gaze around, fall in love with strangers, patterns, food and everything life has to offer.
  10. To travel: Visiting a new place not just provides you a break but widens your horizon in terms of your outlook and avenues. Befriend the local people, learn their language, cultures and mannerisms. You might just fall in love with love some more.

I hope I keep following my heart. Even if I invite some angst in the process, it’ll be my accountability to pay heed to it or not.

Are there any arid hopes of yours too?

Keep watering them!

n.k.

via Daily Prompt: Arid

Uncategorized

Strange Prayers…

prayers

There are many a few incidents which leave a strange mark on your body, your soul, your character or your thinking. Life is a series of such events. Some may be sweet, sour, bitter or bittersweet. Hence, it becomes important to pay heed to cues. A day that looks like an ordinary one might just have an extraordinary ending.

I’ve been suffering from a knee injury from last two weeks. Regular medication has helped the wound but it hasn’t been fully cured. I woke up this morning to a relatively painless knee. I walked my original walk today. I skipped the lift to take stairs. The day had a good start. The work was usual too. I also happened to leave for home on time. I’m glad I did that.

As I usually leave from a Noida metro station, I meet a friend at the same station so we can travel together.

Today, I left her to take a less crowded metro. I was to, now, meet her at Rajiv Chowk (an interlinking station). I missed three metros waiting for her. Together we missed two more metros  because we wanted seats on lean our backs on.

“I think I’ve found my man. He would keep me happy!”, she blushed.

“Yeah, right! I was always sure about him for you.”, I said as I gulped our evening snacks.

Her phone rang. It was him. We put on the earphones, each in one of our ears and I listened to their conversation.

“Where have you reached?”, he asked.

“Green Park”, she said matter of factly.

“Isn’t the metro too slow today?”

“No, it usually takes me an hour in the metro alone.”

They then talked what is censored for my blog post and eventually her station came and we bid goodbye.

I was two stations away from my destination. This meant not more than six minutes.

The lady announced the names of the stations and I had to get down at the next one. As I was preparing myself for the exit, collecting my metro card and some cash from my bag, I felt a terrific jerk. We were all shook by a screeching sound. All of us arranged ourselves after being hit by a pole or falling on the co-passengers or seats. The metro had abruptly stopped itself way away from the space allocated for gates to open towards the platforms.

The metro stood still. We could see people on the platform waiting to board the rail.

Seconds passed. Minutes passed. The number of people outside the metro had multiplied. The paleness of people inside the metro had also grown. No one had an idea what had happened.

I had to get down at this station. I was there yet couldn’t be there.

In a few seconds, we saw a handful of DMRC officials running towards our train. Everyone ran past our coach and stared at the rail track. We were trying to adjust our necks in every possible angle to peep at what they were examining. The grave look on their faces registered in us that something wasn’t right.

We tried to be calm. Everyone started calling their aides. We caught a man coming near our coach and using a tool to open the doors manually. As soon as the space was enough to evacuate, everyone rushed outside.

We could see many buzzing groups. Everyone gawked at one particular direction. There were hordes of people trying to assume and spread what exactly had happened.

“There’s this guy who slipped on to the tracks..”

“No, he must have committed suicide. There already are so many such cases!”

“Maybe, someone pushed him.”

The platforms, lifts, escalators had been turned off. The haplessness was still on. Some commuters were trying to figure alternatives to reach home. Some were eagerly waiting to belong to the premium ‘know-it-all’ category. Some were clicking pictures of the crowd that had gathered at the station. No one bothered to help the policemen with actions.

There was a sudden cheer in the crowd. I turned around to witness a miracle. There were too many people around. I had never seen a mass of this size before. I had never been so feeble with hundreds of individuals around. I tried to twist my neck and body in all directions to see what had just happened. I climbed a defunct escalator to gain some height. I could manage to see four army men slogging and dragging a body beneath the tracks between two coaches. The body wasn’t visible. The crowd was moving in sync with the cops moving the body.

The police were trying to take the body towards the emergency exit. I managed to see an already plastered and injured hand. The dusty plaster was now red. I saw rugged blue shoes next. Tints of blue in a blood soaked shirt then caught my attention. A middle aged man had fallen down the tracks and he was covered with blood. Thankfully, his face was safe. He had now been rushed towards safety.

A strange feeling caught me. I don’t understand what is this feeling like. Never have I felt like this before. I didn’t know what or how to react. I don’t know why my eyes were teary. I silently prayed to God for this stranger. I’m sure many did too.

While I took an exit from the station, I saw the body surrounded by the authorities waiting to be transported to an ambulance (which was stuck in traffic). I embraced a tiny smile when I saw a little movement in his right hand. I was glad, God heard the right prayer at the right time. May he recover soon.

I still can’t comprehend the waves my heart was creating or the thoughts my mind was floating with. I don’t know why am I writing this. I just hope we start being thankful for this life by living it through thick and thins.

Strength,

n.k.

Uncategorized

Would You Mind Some Lukewarm Love?

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It’s that lovey-dovey time of the year again. The 14th of Feb! The Valentine’s Day! Guys are gearing up to confess their feelings to the ones they’ve been eyeing, stalking and weighing words for some time now. Whereas girls are sitting back and waiting for a variety of flowers and gifts to pave their way! Isn’t the concept too shitty? Yes, it is. Don’t we still love it? Yes, we do! Aren’t we all fools? Hahaha!

Why do we choose specific days to buy (or make) cards, cakes, gifts, mementos for some really special people in our lives? Why do I tell my mom that I love her the most only on Mother’s Day? Why do I admit to my dad that he’s always right on a Father’s Day? Why do I express that my brother is my strength on Raksha Bandhan? Why am I thankful to my friends only on Friendship’s Day? Why do I confess my love for him on a Valentine’s Day? Worse if I follow all ceremonies like a chocolate or a teddy or a promise or a hug day.. Too demanding it becomes. And foolish too!

Why don’t we make every day count in relationships? A little help from me in basic household chores not only gives my mom an additional support but some contentment too. Being a little responsible with my career and finances offers my dad some respite. My brothers mock at me when I act a little mature but deep down, they feel happy about it. If two words of care makes your better half happy, do that more often. You wouldn’t even realize when you would fall out of glee and crave for such moments.

Before making the world around you a Disneyland, make sure you treat yourself as the king or the princess! Self love is the best love. Under no circumstances, should you ill treat yourself or kill your happiness for the benefit of some moron. Which reminds me of an article I read about depression this morning. A school going child, a divorcee, a successful businessman, a roadside vendor, a soldier or a teacher, depression has its cobs structured almost everywhere.

There are a number of signs that one must be aware of. Regular mood swings, insomnia or sudden urge to sleep, too much anger or happiness, dependence on cigarettes or alcohol, inability to express, loss of appetite or overeating are some of the symptoms of depression. There are varying levels to be cautious of.

You enter a metro full of commuters. There are chances of at least 2 people out of 10 to be suffering from this disorder.

Depression in severe cases leads to mistakes as barbaric as committing murders or suicides!

A class 12 student flunked his board exam because he couldn’t withstand the suicide committed by his friend. This friend was kind but the other classmates couldn’t consume his goodness. A woman tried to kill herself because she couldn’t sustain the damage caused to her heart when she broke up with her lover, three years after her husband left her. An affluent businessman gulped a bottle of sleeping pills because he couldn’t maintain his family relationships because of professional demands. A daily wager tried to commit suicide because he couldn’t make ends meet with his meager salary. A girl hanged herself because the boy she loved, didn’t find her beautiful.

Apart from spreading awareness about this, a constant flow of love and understanding is all a person needs in order to lead a decent and socially accepted existence. The problem also lies in the mind-set we’re born with. We think a depressed person needs to be homed only with a psychiatrist. Yes, they need an immediate cure. Yes, they need a medical supervision. But, they also demand a soft approach. To listen to them, to understand them, to heal them, to help them come out of this bitter trap, to lead a strong life and to never look back!

I’m sure you must have read numerable posts on depression before and this will also fall prey to the category of read and forget. But for once, try. Try to keep yourself happy. Try to maintain harmony in your body and life. Try to help that person who is ailing of loneliness. Try to come up with solutions of problems. Try to seek help from others. Try to give them some lukewarm, if not unconditional love. But please, try!

Reach out to help centres like Aasra, The Better India or Our India that would make lives a little easier!

I sincerely hope, you wouldn’t mind giving some lukewarm love. Would you?

Love!

n.k.

via Daily Prompt: Lukewarm

poetry · Uncategorized

It’s Just A Matter Of Time!

matter-of-time

Seconds have passed since I last laughed so hard.

Seconds have passed since I last cried of laughter.

Seconds have passed since I last rolled on the bed.

Seconds have passed since I last rewind that show.

 

Minutes have passed since I last tasted heaven.

Minutes have passed since I last licked my fingers.

Minutes have passed since I last cooked a meal.

Minutes have passed since I last bought groceries.

 

Hours have passed since I last talked to mom.

Hours have passed since I last spoke my heart.

Hours have passed since I last lay honestly.

Hours have passed since I bid her a goodbye kiss.

 

Days have passed since I last slogged at work.

Days have passed since I last reached on time.

Days have passed since I last dressed chic.

Days have passed since I last crushed that stub.

 

Weeks have passed since I last was at cross roads.

Weeks have passed since I last doubted my decisions.

Weeks have passed since I last held a regret.

Weeks have passed since I last shut my dreams.

 

Months have passed since I last disconnected that call.

Months have passed since I last was wakeful.

Months have passed since I last was restless.

Months have passed since I last said adios.

 

Years have passed since I last felt out of place.

Years have passed since I last understood you.

Years have passed since I last loved numbness.

Years have passed since I last hated silence.

n.k.

Uncategorized

Let’s move to Venus?

nancy-astor-politician-women-have-got-to-make-the-world-safe-for-men

Aren’t you all just so positive and hopeful at the beginning of every year? You dream to realize your dreams. You aspire for a better tomorrow. You pray for peace. You strive to improve. But who is accountable for this improvement? Can you do anything to make the world a pleasurable place? Can you do something so that the other sex feels safer?

Continue reading “Let’s move to Venus?”